Rotarian Anna Booze introduced Kelly English, mother of five and grandmother to 14. Kelly is also a massage therapist, involved in LIMU, and is a certified grief recovery specialist. Kelly’s husband, Dean English, passed away five years ago on June 10. Dean was loved by so many and gave of himself tirelessly.

Kelly began her presentation by explaining that by the age of 2–3, a person has already formed 75 percent of their coping mechanisms, or private logic (our way of dealing with life and loss). She explained that children are not taught at a young age how to process difficulties. A child is told to “stop crying” or “go to your room till you can be happy,” etc. We are taught to bury pain, loss, or hurt, or to just keep really busy, to replace the loss. We are not taught how to talk about our actual feelings in the midst of loss.

Kelly says there are over 40 losses, beside death or divorce. Some of those include loss of hearing, sight, job, empty nest, pets, property, dreams for the future, business, security, trust, friendship, etc. We tend to replace those losses with shopping, TV, gambling, eating, drinking, drugs, work, sleeping, etc. We are told myths like, “time heals all wounds,” and to grieve alone, be strong for others, bury the grief, or keep busy.

Kelly’s program is eight weeks of really looking into your loss to help you can identify all the incompletes, and complete them, so that you can live a rich, fulfilling life, and have hope even in the midst of loss, pain, and grief. She also has a fourweek course for adults to help children through loss. Kelly will teach one-on-one, or in a group setting.

Members were led in song, pledge, and prayer by Sheila Pankratz and Janet Guthrie. We all enjoyed our visitors: John C. Isaacs and Rick Wilcox, guests of Andy Holloway; and Ray Brady, guest of Janet Guthrie. It was also good to have Caroline Cornett with us. Sarah Rader won the lunch drawing, and Sheila won the Jackpot.

In new business, the club voted to put flags out along the highway for the weekend of “Wild and Free on 83,” Aug. 1-4. Member Sheri Hensley reported on a scam she received, and how hard it is to decipher between legitimate email alerts and those who wish us harm. Lunch was delicious: chicken on tortillas with all the fixings, green chile rice, and salad.