I get stomachaches. I get them with regularity and always have.

“It’s just gas!” my mother says, and of course, she’s right.

My mother tells me I get stomachaches because I have the “Benson stomach,” by which she means that I have the same stomach she has, which is the same stomach her mother had, which my grandmother inherited from her mother—who was a Benson.

It seems a little sad that the only tim…